life with sound

The Lady Is Not For Turning

2006-10-30T21:17:00.000Z

And so Sunday came and went.
But Mum still fights. And well she might.
Monday to has now almost pasted, and our favorite nurse is in shock.
Linda really did not think Mum would be there on her (or our) arrival on Sunday.
Pleasantly forced to re-attach a plethora of drips and drugs, Mum continues to surpass expectation.
We are, by no means, out of the woods, and we are still a long way from ever seeing chemo.
Mum is still very ill. But we had a good day with music (Elvis and Mr Pitney) and sunshine.
We can't allow too much hope to seep in at the edges, but a small light is no bad thing for morale.

Just another day with Mum, and another day of the confusingly mild weather.

To ask for more would be greedy.

But Time Has Past

2006-10-29T09:18:00.000Z

And chemotherapy did not start.
Mum's blood is to infected, and now we have to say goodbye.
There are no more drips, injections, only air if she needs it.
We were all there Saturday, my Brother, Dad, Nan and Mum's Sisters.
Joan has banned tears from Mum's room, we just have to be there and hold her hand.
She is, at present, awake and from time to time asks if she can come home. She can't.
We are all going back this morning, to what we don't know.
But there is no physical pain for her, just the same pain we all have sitting and waiting for the inevitable.
There is also no blame, no anger.
It is just something that has happened, and the hospital have always done as much as they can.
I can only praise their understanding and kind help.
And I can only marvel at my Father, whom has been so strong and has looked after Mum as she would have attended to any of us.

Next time I write it will be in memory of Mum, but for now we live in the limbo of the unknown.
Maybe today? Maybe next week?

We will all keep getting by with it until then.

Thank you all for your kind support, and please don't worry when you have no words, because I don't have any more words either.

And So It Is Time

2006-10-26T23:54:00.000Z

Today they start chemotherapy in ernest.

Ten days of treatment, and then we will have to see.

We are all going to have to be strong.

That is all.

It's About 4am

2006-10-24T21:38:00.000Z

And I'm rather pleased to have got through to this point. Only three more hours until the crew arrive with the truck and my night-watchman part of the job is over. Super.

I was going to have to wait for the 05:35 from Liverpool Street anyway, I had taken the train up a couple of days ago and stayed in the rather good Malmaison (doesn't that mean sick house?), so when Max asked if I could wait with the kit overnight and get paid another days money, I thought my ship had come in. Two more hours than I would of waited anyway, for a whole extra days pay. Super duper.

Now I have done this trick before. Many of Londons venues now have strict curfews on when you can load out, the Grosvenor Ballroom was one of the first with no trucks between 10pm and 7am, and now the Brewery. Sit on a flightcase overnight and get paid, great!
I've read my book. Played platypus and found secret level. Looked at a couple of Quotes.
Then arrives night manager.

'You can't leave that stuff there, I've got to set the tables up...'
You can imagine the conversation, and with my usual good charm I've negotiated a slight re-arrangement of the kit and end up chatting to this fella for a while.

'Salt of the Earth' springs to mind.

'Oh, you like driving a Ford Grenada do you?'
'Lived in Hackney all your life have you?'
'Don't like blacks, gays or conservatives, eh?'

Smile, nod, grin. Like with an elderly relative that's talking nonsense.

So at some point around 5am I nod of, head on re-positioned flightcase.
A pleasant little nap, bourn of being really tired.

A voice awakens me:
'I've turned the lights off, so that it should be easier for you to sleep.'

So I Return From Moscow

2006-10-23T21:54:00.000Z

After what I can only describe as a welcome week away.

Mum, in my absence, has finally been moved to St Bartholomew Hospital.
She is not good.

We've been told not to give up hope - she's a real fighter, and responding well to tablet chemotherapy - however, at the moment they can't start radiation therapy until they have found out what has caused the initial swelling on her foot (which has now spread to her face, making eating and talking a frustrating experience).
It's getting near time to act, they may have to throw caution to the wind and start radiation before they have found out what else is wrong with her, but as you may know, radiation therapy will kill Mum's immune system for 28 days, so she will have no way to fight any infection, and if they don't know what it is they can't either.
A near impossible situation, but we can all only put our faith in those people who know best.
If she just had one problem,one could see light, but it is difficult to keep hope when the doctors have been doing hundreds of tests over the last two weeks and still seem to be no closer to a cast iron solution.

One Day At A Time

It Is Hard To Tell People

2006-10-14T03:14:00.000Z

Especially when you can't spell it.
Leukemia. (I had to do a google that...)

Mum only went to see the doctor about her foot, which had swollen up.
A week later she has been in hospital because they wanted to know why she was anemic.
Now they want to move her to London to test her bone marrow to confirm what type of Leukemia it is. Or in fact that this is all a horrible mistake and she just needs more Iron.
Best to know either way, eh?

Me and Dad and John are fine, we talk everyday and one of us is always there for the visiting times. It's just when you have to tell people that it's horrid.

It sounds so scary.
It sounds so final.
It sounds like an excuse.
It makes people awkward.

I have to go to Moscow this week for work, a trip I had been looking forward to since it was booked. But now, I just want to be home.
I can't do anything, but just being at home seems like the best thing.
So I can go and sit next to my sleeping mother for two hours a day?
So I can answer the phone from relatives and re-tell everything that we knew yesterday?
So I can ask the staff nurse again when they will move her?
No. Just so I'm close.
Being there would be enough now.

But to Moscow I shall, and hope that Dad's talent for Little White Lies gets better whilst I'm away...

In A Fit Of Anger...

2006-09-26T16:31:00.000Z

.. I told my customer to Fuck Off.

I know the signs, like we all do.

Too many hours, too many plates in the air, and suddenly a bit of hassle with a crap DJ and I'm telling people where to shove it. Even if is their fault that they have left everything to the last moment, I should never let them know, just sort it out for them. I've built my entire company on myself and my staff being nicer and better at customer relations than our peers and competitors. So for me it is a real personal let down that I have finally cracked, but I suppose it was just a matter of time.

The test will be what happens next. This is not a regular client, but they do work with one of my biggest clients as well, so it could put me in a tricky position at a later date.

Humble pie for breakfast tomorrow.

What is strange is the feeling of calm I have now.
It feels so much better now that I've got a bit of aggression out, even better for it being in such a potentially self destructive way. I could of told Ben to Fuck Off - in I fact I do on a regular basis - but I know with friends you can say sorry and patch things up, and even if you don't, they are not going to cause any financial penalty's.

On a far better front, a nice shiny new PC has turned up this morning, and I can't believe how quiet it is, or I suppose just how noisy the old one was.
I keep thing the damn thing's turned it's self off.
Ah, the little things....

I'm Not Dead...

2006-09-22T09:50:00.000Z

...or on strike like Al.
Just been to busy to stop by, and to be honest not doing anything worth writing about.
(Not that any of what I do is, but I like it, so you'll just have to put up with it)
Unlike Ben, I have not been on Holiday three times this year, and it looks like I will probably get to 2007 without one. (Cue big 'ahhh' from audience).
Jen, of course, is in the lead in the Holidays per Annum race, but I do get to stay at their house whilst they are away, so it is like a mini Holiday for me (change of scene and all that).

You've all done very well.

So I'm sitting listening to another conference about something or other, and thinking that I haven't blogged in a while, but again, not much to blog.
So I leave you with this, for now:

Wash it, they only give you one.

Mate, This Is Afrecah

2006-08-05T15:00:00.000Z

Yes Rolf, it was indeed.
Both Rolf and David employed this phrase for any questions relating to when, where, or why.
When is the forklift truck coming?
Mate this is Afrecah, could be anytime between now and tomorrow.
(Yes, your going to need to adopt a White South African accent for this).
Where is the forklift coming from?
Mate, this is Afrecah, the natives have maybe got it from a warehouse in town?
Why does the forklift truck need a steel rope to hold the forks up?
Mate this is....

But, please, do not think this was a bad trip.
The locals are great, not so sure about the WSA's, but maybe I can't see apartheid from their perspective, and I do know lots of very nice WSA's in the UK.

Zambia is amazing.

The drive from Livingston International Airport (I presume) is a bumpy and sobering experience.
Bouncing through the main street of Livingston Town leaves one in ore of how people live out side of the west.

I, however, was staying in an air conditioned American 5 star hotel built right next a world heritage site - Victoria Falls. A mini colonial village for tourists.
Disney Land with Zebras and Monkeys wandering around. (Although, perhaps, just like Disney Land.)

So I can't really claim to have 'walked with the people'.

We did nearly get mugged by some locals in a bar, but that really was our own fault for walking into a disco-cum-chip shop with about the average Zambians monthly wage in your pocket (30USD). And the same again in local Kwacha. (160,ooo.00ZMK). But that is a whole other story for the pub.

So, some important observations.

Victoria Falls is incredible. If you get there, take a walk down at about 6.30 in the morning and witness the sun rise over the falls and form the two most perfect rainbows.

Zambia is in the Southern Hemisphere, so where we have our summer they have their winter.
So, don't wear shorts for breakfast - it is fucking cold when there's no walls on the restaurant and the sun isn't up.

If they haven't got something, the locals will always find a way of making it.

Elephants do not appreciate you taking photo's of them when they haven't said you can.
This will result in some charging.

Do not feed the monkeys that wander about the hotel.
There are good reasons for the signs saying don't feed the monkeys.

It Is A Syndrome

2006-07-26T22:45:00.000Z

I'm sure it must be.
NSG.
Nice Guy Syndrome.

If your just nice to people you get fucked over.

FACT.

Wow, there. You think I'm talking about girls right?
Well, your right a bit.

1.
First, bend over backwards for a client.
Take a loss on a job, 'cause I'm a nice guy and all.
Then they cancel, saying they've found a DJ who can do it cheaper.
Well fuck 'em. (Have you ever seen so much profanity on my page?)
Let the bollock toss it up.
End up paying the guy I've lined up, because I've already sent a PO and he's turned something else down.

2.
Tell a mate your like someone.
Then watch them sleeze right over them.
Twat.

3.
Said mate is guy you bitched about A N Other mate who did same thing.
To much ' Oh yes, that's really not on, is it'
Double twat.

4.
Conclusion.
Stop having NGS.

You are all arseholes and you know it.

Flying to Africa tomorrow.
Work again, not pleasure.

Said I'd drop off some speakers to a mateon the way.
Bet it comes back fucked.

A Few Short Museings

2006-07-26T05:51:00.000Z

Guitarist Corner:

So I got the new Muse album. (You get he title now, eh?)
And I must say it is very good, just like everyone one else says.
I listened on in wonder as to just how long Matthew Bellamy spent getting his guitar to sound like Brian May. Wish I could...

Grumpy Old Man Corner:

Went to the local Co-Op (or Co-Op Local as I think they like to call it) to buy some smokes.
I use my card. To buy two packets.
I get two packets plus about half a meter of receipt.
That is, of course, after I have pushed the green button to say I'm not 12.
What a waste.

Techie Corner:
Received this email:
I am arranging a charity show and we will need to hire five microphones. We need it to cost as little as possible as the money will have to come out of what we raise for the charity.
Now, surely, even you non-tech types can see some errors here?
Like what kind of mic? When do you want them? And do I really care about another fucking charity? Wouldn't they make more money for charity if they just shouted, cause that's what they'll be doing if they hire 5 fucking mics and no PA system?
That is the reply I did not send, but probably should of.

You Learn A New Thing Everyday

2006-07-19T10:49:00.000Z

Sundays lesson was washing your car.
Or, perhaps, not washing your car when it is 30 odd degrees.
Because when you chuck (or lob) a bucket of non 30 degree water over the car your windscreen will break.
There is now a man in a bright orange van on my driveway asking his colleague to bring the correct screen over as he has the wrong one.

Mondays lesson was loud is still not good.
George Clinton plus 30 or so 'musicians' making everything louder than everything else.
Glad I didn't have to mix them. (Also glad the RAC were correct when they said my windscreen wouldn't cave in if I drove to London and back a couple of times...)

Tuesday was full of lessons.
1. Support acts can be good. This chap was cool, and I enjoyed mixing him and his band.
2. Often people you've not heard of will have had more of an impact on music than you think. And this lady is quite something, and it was a pleasure to be on stage for her only UK gig in 25 years.
3. You never know when someone from the past will get in touch.

I'm sure that's enough learning this week, so if you've something important to teach me, please leave it till next week?
Thanks.

The 48hr Working Week

2006-07-11T06:18:00.000Z

And with that in mind, I did two and a half of them last week.
122hrs on the timesheet in 7 days. Not bad.
Why?
Because it's my job, and we all have to do one.
Still, it does explain why I fell into a coma-sleep and Ben's house.
Thanks for putting me in a Taxi guys.
The worst bit is still no rock 'n' roll, man.
Sure, I helped Balfour Beatty set out the objectives for the year to their employees.
I helped two Jewish weddings into party mode. I even made some drunk business men and women from Basildon get up on a stage and accept awards.
But it is not rock 'n' roll, and I don't like it.
And this is Festival Season!
I must try harder.
I'll give Andy a call today about that Fightstar gig...

On The Train

2006-06-19T20:32:00.000Z

'I'm sorry to wake you, but your dribbling on my shoulder'

Is what I should have said to the pissed up England shirt wearing tit from Shoeburyness on the train.
Unfortunately all I really managed was a nudge and a knowing look at him once he finally regained the ability to look up. And he didn't even notice me get up and move seat after the next stop. Twat.

What I don't get is how people get that drunk.

Now, yes, I like a drink.

OK, yes, myself and Bojin can waft through a bottle of Jack and be rather drunk.
In a house, with no requirement of walking through streets and/or using public transport.
I just couldn't get that drunk in a pub. Or club. Or a vertical drinking establishment.

Oh, and the woman who forgot how to chew on her Subway bagette was far more entertaining, but she was sitting much farther away...

MmmmMMmMmMmM

2006-06-03T08:53:00.000Z

Is how I would sound with a mouth full of beans.

Hello beach-flies. You should all be outside, it is nice.

But where have you been Reece-Ford?

Well, lots of places, but I haven't had my hair cut yet.

Did a show for with this chap the other night. Funny. And a lovely place for it.
Oh and one for him. Been a comedy/music week really.

Done some other gigs too, but I really can't remember any of them being any fun.
Yes, I am stuck in conference hell. But, summer is now arriving, and with some luck I'll be off to a festival soon.

Got a great message on my phone whilst trying to look at some thing on the interweb (on the actual phone):
"ERROR: TIME has an error. Do you want to end TIME? Click to continue running TIME or close to exit without ending TIME."
I took the safe bet and continued running Time, I just knew that it would be really difficult to explain to everyone why I ended Time, and indeed it would be a bit of a social faux pas to just go round ending time willy-nilly.

Notes From A Middle Eastern Country...

2006-05-08T12:24:00.000Z

OK, so I'm no Bill Bryson. But here is a little account of the Jordan job.
You'll see I'm not that good with the pictures bit, so they've ended up on two other posts, I really should learn how to stick then in a post...

Any how, we set of from Blighty early on the 21st April, and to be honest I wasn't all that sure what we would find when we got there. I've been to this part of the world before, but this time I had sent a lovely new expensive and fragile digital mixer, and to be honest wasn't all that sure that it would survive the handlers at Heathrow - you've seen how they throw you bags about, and no amount of flightcase can stand-up to their kind of abuse.
But, aha, it survived alright, largely down to this nice chap who built the flight case (and who really should put a website up if he is going to get any more links from me).
Anyway, the rest you can imagine, another boring conference, but for a change with concrete blocks and chaps with guns outside. Oh, and you have to go through a metal detector to get in and out of the hotel. But I must say the service was excellent (as you would expect from any non-English hotel, why can't we get hotels right?), and the food was quite frankly super-duper.

So, we managed to pull a late night load-out off, and ended up with an entire day to go a play.
Plans were a-foot to go to Petra (6th Wonder of the known world?), but with a bumpy four hour drive there and back and a Â£150 whole in the wallet, we decide to stride off into Jordan instead.
One thing we all agreed on was that we would go and see that big flag, but I'll come to that later.
So off to down-town Jordan with a couple of the hotels cars (they recommend visitors don't just get in cabs, although I'm sure that's just a marketing strategy.)

Of course, a guide finds us, but he was a good old boy (fought for us in Palestine in '48) and he took us around the Roman amphitheatre and Hercules Temple, which was nice. Much looking at very old bits of rock, and guide clearing locals out of the way so the tourists could take pictures. This is a quite important part really, you're not exactly allowed to take pictures of anything that belongs to the King, or the Police, so you do have to be a little careful.
Our guide, having pointed us in the direction of his friends Kebab shop for an authentic lunch, left us with a beautiful last line:
"It is good that you are English, they probably won't shoot at you - it is only the Americans we don't like"
Poetic, eh?

So we lunch, and then call for our drivers from the hotel again.
Upon their arrial we give them two tasks: Back to the hotel, but we want to go to that big flag on the way. They did give a funny look at this request, but I'll admit they did take us as close as possible. Which isn't all that close, as the flag stands in the grounds of the King's Palace.
They pulled of the motorway, and we duly got out and started taking some pictures. That was until of course a couple of tanks started moving, and the Taxi drivers recommended that now would be an opportune moment to leave.
Which we did.
Quickly.

Interestingly, the company that put it up (it is the worlds tallest unsupported pole, and the flag is a massive 30 meters by 60 meters) sell them online. Have a look here.

And so, we come to the journey home.
We got a plane with no leg room, and an alarming amount of noise coming for the wing, and a bloody Steve Martin film (he was a funny man once, must be terrible for him to look back at a once brilliant comic career). We arrived at CDG airport with less than 45 minutes to get to our London bound flight only to find that it takes around two hours to get from Terminal E to Terminal F - which acording to the girl on the counter is quite normal. So we had the five hour hold-up waiting for the next flight, and then two guys got to Heathrow to be told that their bags were still in France. Added to the fact that two other guys got to Jordan to find their bags still in France on the way there, means that Air France is really not an option from now on - I'll stick to BA thanks.

Another adventure finished, aided by sounds from Athlete, Hedi Kandi and Cake. Reading from Gideon Dofe with Pirates! In an adventure with Whaling - a must read for you all.

2006-05-08T12:22:00.001Z

the crew

Staring (L-R) Me, Big Matt, Ben, Little Matt, Gary T, Gary Birdshit.

2006-05-08T12:22:00.000Z

the flag

Before Our Feature Presentation

2006-05-01T19:24:00.000Z

I just remembered how we managed to get through the four hour wait in Paris.

Take a song with love in the title.

Substitute word 'Love' for 'Cock'.

Enjoy.

Here's my top five of the moment:

1) Are you ready for Cock? - Elton John
2) Can you feel the Cock tonight? - Elton John
3) Cock in an Elevator - Aerosmith
4) Cock is a many-splendored thing - Frank Sinatra
5) Where is the Cock? - Black Eyed Peas

Yes, I know Elton got in twice - but he really means it.
I think I might start recording the album...

Not Home Now

2006-05-01T16:43:00.000Z

Yes, yes, I know I promised you all a thrilling account of my Middle Eastern trip, but I have been rather busy drinking, sleeping and flying to Portugal.
An equally excellent hotel again, this time thanks to A N Other company, but this job comes with an interesting twist.
This time I am alone. Yes, with my shiny Production Manager hat on (covering for a friend who is on honeymoon) I am to take charge of some local chaps. Joy.

I did manage a couple of days back in the UK before this trip; you could of seen me at the Mayor of Thurrocks Dinner on Friday (oh, yes we get the best jobs a RP you know), which was made highly entertaining by the addition of Gary and a range of wigs. And this chap (whom found his task a lot harder to concentrate on when the sound men were wearing wigs).
Saturday consisted of a lot of looking at junk mail build-up in the office, followed by a rather foolish amount of Larger, Jim Beam and Old Spiced Rum with this man and his wife, and this one, and this one, plus this girl.

So on to Sunny Sunday, with a head made mostly of jam, and starring at the PC trying to remember what had changed to this weeks script last week. The only answer for that was the pub, which was on top form.
In fact, I have noticed that whenever I really really can't stay for a couple of pints, all the right people turn up with a big bag of party spirit. Damn. Always the way, but, I did manage to drag myself away from all those lucky gits who get to have BH weekends off.
One thing to note was how well everyone looked. Maybe I just happen to know a lot of beautiful people, but I really think everyone one looked just swell, especially those concerned with the previous nights entertainment. An excellent effort all, pat the person to your left on the back.
Still, I am now here, and they are all doing boring jobs in offices in Blighty, and I think I shall take another look at that room service menu.

I must look at some scripts now, since the client arrives first thing in the morning.
So on I shall go.

Happy days in the sun everyone.

Home Now

2006-04-27T19:51:00.000Z

I will be detailing the this weeks trip with pictures later, but to summarize (and warn you of what is to come):

1) Air France is shit.
2) Charles de Gaulle Airport is terrible.
3) Always fly direct.
4) I could of flown to Tokyo (unlike the unlucky chap in front of me at security station 4) in the time it has taken me to get back from the Middle East.
5) Airports are full of Girls.
6) The Romans were clever bastards.

Very much more to follow.

Hello From Jordan

2006-04-23T12:50:00.000Z

That's the place rather than the breasts.

However, the Jordanians have set themselves up for excellent word play:

I do love being in Amman.

Spent the week in Jordan you know.

Yea, I'm stuck between Iraq and a hard place.

Oh, the fun of it all.

Anyway, there is a chap on stage talking about 3G or some mobile broadband solution or other, so I best get on. We're going to try and make it to the dead sea later in the week (looks like we may have a whole day off!).
Apparently, it's the lowest land area on the earth. So I'll have been the lowest of the low then.

You'll notice that I haven't reminded you all of the rather comfortable hotel I'm in, the beautiful weather (30 during the day, 20 at night) and the rather excellent food.

Not one to rub it in, you understand.

I'm Not Sure About This 'Tagging' Stuff...

2006-04-16T10:39:00.000Z

Seems a bit too much like those bloody emails I get from a very interesting accountant from Nigeria wanting me to 'store' some money for him.
However, in the interests of a happy blogging community, I shall throw myself into this fully.

What were you doing ten years ago?
GCSE's! Smoking dope, going to a lot of parties, worrying about how my life would turn out. Yes, I am that young.

What were you doing a year ago?
Thinking I was about to 'make it'. However, one short month later I found myself short of 15 grand. (and no, it wasn't the Nigerian Accountant)

Name 5 snacks you enjoy
Cheese with, on or in anything. If there is cheese content I will eat it.
Sandwiches. Preferably with some cheese.
Toasted sandwiches, again cheese would be a requirement. Go to any pub in Ireland if your not convinced.
Crisps, and their wheat derived cousins.
Can I have cheese again?

Name 5 songs you know all the words to
You got the style - Athlete
Jesus in a camper van - Robbie Williams
Sweating Bullets - Megadeath
Sad but True - Metalica
Fat Bottom Girls - Queen

What would you do if you won £1m?
Fund my election to be boy-child-mayor of Maldon.
Open a decent music venue in Essex,that actually has bands people want to see.

Name 5 things you enjoy doing
Working.
Playing my guitar to a good enough standard to enjoy, but not good enough to be famous.
Working.
Drinking.
Girls.

Name 5 things you'll never wear again
A hair band. There was a time when longhaired rockers were cool.
A lady's dress. I feel that I have been through that bit of my life, I'll leave all that to Eddie from now on.
School Uniform (thanks Al, I was starting to get stuck)
Y fronts. My Mum no longer buys my pants.
Contact lenses. I had to actually touch my eye, even the optitian though I was being a big girl, but I tried at least.

Name your 5 favorite toys
Lego. Yes it is.
Mechano. Can you see how I spent my youth?
Anything you chuck about - it means you have to be outside.
Any type of water-gun you can think of, but the bigger the better really.
Sand. It's free and great.

Name 5 people to tag

Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben.

Senhor, eu penso que este é errado

2006-04-05T13:19:00.000Z

Yes, very missed indeed.

So, I've got a job in Portugal next month. Splendid.
The local contractor assues me that all the technicians will speak 'great English'.
Even better me thinks.
But how about this for international relations - why don't I convert all of my cue sheets into Portuguese as a nice touch? You see, I'm going there not speaking a word of the local lingo, wouldn't it be nice to show them how I've tried? Aha, a job for a Babel Fish!

Once I had completed most of the task I decided to re-translate everything back, just to check.
Aha!

ENG: Background Music.
PORT: musica do fundo
ENG: music of the deep one
No that will not do.

ENG: Holding slide
PORT: prendendo a corredica
ENG: arresting the sliding one
This is not going well is it?

ENG: Play opening video sting
PORT: advert da abertura do jogo
ENG: advert of the opening of the game
Not exactly what I meant.

ENG: Walk up music
PORT: ande acima da musica
ENG: it walks above of music
I'm going to rethink this one.

It isn't that the bable fish is wrong, oh no, I'm just not thinking internationally enough. I've got to forget this lovely English language of ours and start speaking literally.

However, happy news is lunch. It is just lunch. Great, I'll get at least one meal per day then...

The Wonders Of Video

2006-03-30T11:07:00.000Z

This is the coolest thing ever!

Sorry the blogs become a list of links, but I've got nothing else for you all at the moment.
But I am being a very sharing person...

And While Your Looking

2006-03-29T19:30:00.000Z

Myspace

For more on the great space debate have a look at:

Digg

While Stocks Last

2006-03-29T19:27:00.000Z

The best auction I've ever seen...

Ebay

It's All True

2006-03-20T12:29:00.000Z

I went to Pissy Werld once, and it was just like this:

http://www.weebls-stuff.com/wab/upgrade-pt2/

Although, today's experience of my local Post Office was equally strange.
No, the staff there are professional enough, it was the customers that caused me discomfort.
I felt depressed just going in there, but I did cheer up when the haggard old monstrosity in front of me asked for a postal order to the value of £2.50. Cue Flying Circus Scotsman Postal Order Poem.
Is there a certain point in one's life that means you have to spend increasing amounts of time in the Post Office? Is there some kind of drug in the stuffy air that means older generations need to get a good and proper fix everyday?
I've read in the local paper that there are plans afoot to move the whole thing into thcheapopo supermarket opposite, sound like a splendid idea to me - it's a bit of a waste of a lovely building at the moment.
But, alas, if it does happen I'm sure we'll just end-up with another fast food, cafe, or pound-stretcher type establishment anyway.

Chin up everyone.

News Today

2006-03-16T17:26:00.000Z

That Wakefield council have been referring to this lovely lane as Tittle Cott in documents of late, but the locals want to keep the original name. Now that it has come to my attention, I'll be adding TICKLE COCK BRIDGE to my list of excellent name places.

Here is the top five as of today:

1) Tickle Cock Bridge, Castleford (new entry)
2) Cock End, Witham (1)
3) Much Hadham, Herts (3)
4) Fingringhoe, Colchester (2)
5) Bishop's Frome, Worcester (4)

Q&A

2006-03-15T19:27:00.000Z

I can't even remember what I was looking for when I found this...

http://www.haro-online.com/advice.html

However, I'm finding it funny.

March

2006-03-06T11:43:00.000Z

Yes indeed it is March.
The sun has been shining and the wind blowing a gentle kite lifting breeze.
Be happy people, tis the time to start exploring the outside again, and looking forward to having an evening pint on the hythe.
Good bye SAD.
Hello Spring.

I Can See A Dark Liquid In Your Future

2006-03-01T10:38:00.000Z

This wasn't even as funny as I had hoped.
I was all prepared for a laugh-out-loud Phoenix Nights experience.
Instead I just made him and some women from Clacton louder (what a great review).
And, if he's getting messages for the audience, how come he didn't look up to us-at-the-back and give us any messages from our old friends 'on the other side'?
Or do you have to be a emotionally fragile women to receive messages?

Still, I was right about the dark liquid in my future. Shame he didn't warn me that we'd only finish in time to get one before last orders...

Things I Have Thought About In The Car This Week

2006-02-23T12:10:00.000Z

When you spend time in a car the mind tends to wander to the curiosities of life...

For instance, why are there street lamps on motorways?
Is this so I don't really need to use my car lights?
How much money and energy would we save if we turned half of them off?
Answers on a post card please.

But, the bigger question is why am I not a bitter and twisted man like Ben?
How do I keep enjoying what I do, when it is all so pointlessly hard work?

Example.

Last Wednesday I went to Harrogate. Bath of the north, lovely town.
Boring conference until Sunday. After an early finish - 2pm - and facing a manageable 4 hours or so to get the 12ton of kit down to the truck, I find myself in a far from down-beat mood.
No problems.
One hour into the out, we decided to start pushing kit into the lift to take it down stairs to the truck.
Ah ha.
That'll be the lift broken then...
Such is life, there is ten of use, so that's only 1.2ton each to lift down the stairs.
A handful of hours later it's done.

At this point in the gig tale, I feel the need to point out that this in it's self is not an end of the world situation. But it did set us back two hours...
Those two hours were quite important, as you will see.

So, we've set of from Harrogate at 8pm. It's around four hours drive, and since we've all had a long and sleep deprived week, we decide that we should take it in turns to drive the hire car.
Matt gets the first stint down to Grantham, till he feels the call of Mr Sleep.
Gary gets us to Cambridge.
I take the Cambridge to Tendering slot.
I did manage to scare the chaps, once I had found that the cruise-control can bet set well above the legal limit. I shall not incriminate myself here, however I can assure you that there were three figures, and we got from Cambridge to Tendering in around an hour.
OK so far?
Arrive at Tendering midnight.
Collect my own car (ah, no more cruise control...). Take Gary to Chelmsford. Take myself to home.
Arrive home 01:00hrs Monday morning.

Here is where that two hours becomes important.

I need to leave here at 04:15hrs. Little over three hours time.
Now, from experience of such things, I am well aware of the dangers of going to bed.
Bed means sleep, sleep means forgetting to get up. So I elect to make use of the sofa, and have a small nap here instead.
4.30am and I'm up and out the door on the way to the next job, here.
All goes well, after awards party raps up at midnight, and we begin another de-rig.
By 01:30hrs, Tim P (the other engineer) and I have had a long enough day, and decide to push off. We've been on-site for 20 hours, without even contemptaing traveling time, so it seems like the best thing to do. One note, this chap was a nice guy, and a good presenter.
In the car again. Obligatory stop at Mile End 24hr Cafe for botulism in a bun.
Arrive Tim's house 3.30am, via a little nodding head action on the the A120, and slight use of rumble strip/grass verge to test my reactions.
Depart Tim's, a mere 30 minutes from my own dwelling, only to find my body has given up, and so I find myself in a layby with the engine running to have a little pick me up nap.

It is now 24hours since I had a nap, and 46 hours since I was in an actual bed.

Awaken at 7am, about three hours later, to find a rather pleasingly bright February morning.
Start off towards home. Half way, I decide that I'm not feeling too bad, so I make the surprising decision to grab a shower and continue the day with-out a sleep. Get all the stuff I need to get done out-of-the-way, before I let myself near a bed. Drop off a radio mic to WME, return some speakers to Event, collect our kit back from HW that was on the Harrogate gig. Do an hour in the office, invoice them for the pain they've caused me and the like.
Come 4pm, I've got a text from some friends who are going to the pub, not my usual pub.

At this point I have consumed rather too much Red Bull, and so it all seems like a excellent idea.

So to the poke house I go, for one pint of Guinness, and several large vodka-Red-Bulls.

Why, why, why?
I should be much angrier than Ben, but then maybe I just don't have time.
I'm off to do this now, so maybe I'll find time next week...

Until then friends, I'll just keep getting by with it.

A Risk Assessment For Ben

2006-02-15T19:04:00.000Z

You best read this first and the comments...

Method Statement for Reece Productions Ltd.

This is the method statement for: Ben flying his kite
Prepared by: James Reece-Ford
For: Maldon District Council
Date/s of event: Various

Location of Production / Tour: The Promenade Park, Maldon
Reece Productions Ltd. On Site Representative: James Reece-Ford
Reece Productions Ltd. Reference Number: KPM 01.06

Transport:

The Equipment will be transported to the venue using vehicles as specified in the quotation. The vehicles will need access and parking if required.

Loading and Unloading (and Erection of Ground Based Systems):

The vehicles have doors. During the load in and load out additional personnel involved will be classed as temporary employees of Reece Productions Ltd and will therefore have to adopt the Safe Working Practices of Reece Productions Ltd as well as abiding with The Health and Safety at Work Act 1974. The Manual Handling Regulations 1992, The PPE at Work Regulations 1992 and all other relevant regulations and legislation.
The nominated Production Manager for Reece Productions Ltd. will manage all handling operations ensuring the correct handling practices are used.
The Production Manager will also ensure that all non-trained personnel (i.e. the general public, spectators, dogs, etc) are cleared from the immediate area of work to ensure a safe working site.

Rigging:

The kite system is made up of various rope string wires, which must be treated with caution whilst rigging the equipment and using the equipment. Rigging of control wires will only be carried out by competent persons supplied by Reece Productions Ltd. All rigging equipment will have been regularly tested and inspected as per the requirements of LOLER. Any flying frames will be assembled as per the manufacturers instructions, and checked before being lifted.

Overhead Work:

During flight, the kite is predominantly overhead, and it up to the designated production manager to ensure the area below is kept clear of other persons. If people ‘stray’ into the immediate potential landing area, it is the responsibility of the operator to steer the kite away from this area to a safer site. It may be reasonable for the operator to give a loud verbal warning to persons who so stray.

Electrical:

The process requires no electrical equipment.

Fire and First Aid:

The designated production manager should have a small first aid kit to hand for minor cuts/abrasions caused during normal operation. The production manager should also ensure there is a suitable way (e.g. Mobile telephone) of contacting emergency services in case of a serious incident.
Fire is not taken as a severe risk, and so no more precautions should be taken other than one would usually do so for a walk in the park.

Audience Safety:

To ensure the safety of the public from accidental injury, the production manager and operator should ensure people are clear of danger at all times, and give warning of any changes in this situation.

Noise:

No part of the operation is capable of generating noise above 75dba (C weighted), in line with the Noise at Work Act.

Risk Assessments:

Due to the nature of the tasks undertaken and the site, it is the responsibility of the appointed production manager to ensure that the assessment continues to take place during the event.
Any changes in the tasks or site which may result in the Possibility or subsequent Hazard Severity becoming greater must result in this risk assessment being updated accordingly. A risk assessment is enclosed and forms part of this method statement as to the activities of Reece Productions and its personnel on-site. It is the duty of the Production Manger to bring to the attention of the Public any perceived risks to health and safety, and liase with them on a suitable course of action.

Environmental Concerns:

There are no chemicals produced by the equipment, nor waste.

Hazardous Chemicals:

There are no chemicals used during the set up, and dismantling of the equipment.

Buy These...

2006-02-12T19:46:00.000Z

Peoples CD's, go to their next gig.
You owe it to the continuation of decent music in the UK.

David Hughes

The Big (See ya'll in Brighton for an audio birthday...)

Not much To Say About My Week

2006-02-06T21:18:00.000Z

Just read Ben's fascinating insight to his week and decided to tell you all about mine.

The first problem is that in order to recall my last week I have to look at the diary.
That just seems weird. You would think that I could remember what I did last week.
I do.
It's just that it all kind of goes squiffy at the edges as one week rolls into another.
I blame this mostly on the fact that I don't have a routine as such. Not having to get up and go to the same place of work and what not.

So to the diary...
Ahh, me thinks there are bits missing.
According Outlook, I barely managed a 40 hour week. This is clearly wrong.

Monday: Office
Tuesday: Office
Wednesday: Meeting 09:30hrs - Colchester. 20:00hrs - Three Waiters at Hanbury Manor.
Thursday: Office. Go to friends show in evening. In a shed. Excellent half-time tea.
Friday: 09:00hrs pick-up some kit in High Wycombe. 11:00hrs Moroccan Theme Party with Groovin' High at Merchant Taylors Hall, London.
Saturday: 09:30hrs David Hughes to pick up PA system. 10:00hrs Chinese New Year event, Charter Hall. Pub by 21:00hrs.

Not exactly a taxing week, eh?
Still, gave me an opportunity to make lots of Hyperlinks...

I'll be back to wasting your time with my existence soon.

I Think He's Got It!

2006-02-01T23:12:00.000Z

I was working here and on the way home I was listening to this.
(Sorry for the semi-plagiarism Al)

And the big news was that Bush has declared 'America is addicted to Oil'.
Well done, him.
1) Loved the comment on Vines Show: 'America is addicted to Oil, and addicts generally end-up stealing what they want' (A bit of over-generalization is acceptable from time to time).
2)duh!
3) And I'm sure he has good environmental reasons for this rather than just trying to put the wind up a few (now his words) 'Unstable Middle Eastern Countries'

But best of all was the commentator on World Tonight who said (something along the lines of...)
'...Bush is putting out a clear message to high risk oil producing countries like Saudi, Iraq, Canada...'

Canada? What the fuck have that lot done to the Yanks this time?
Pissed Bush off with their ability to speak French?

Anyway, enough of the un-characteristic political banter, look here at picture of a dog not being cute.

Target Practice

2006-01-31T15:48:00.000Z

How long til there is a flash game to shoot the panda?

http://mfrost.typepad.com/cute_overload/2006/01/pandog.html

It would be great, I hate cute.

I Love The Welsh, Really

2006-01-31T15:19:00.000Z

But why did we put them in charge of Company Registrations?

'So, what it is, click on the link for webfiling service, that's right is it, then we will re-issue a Company Authentication Code to the Company Secretary at the Companies Registered Address, see.'

Try it with an outrageous welsh accent, at around 50 words per second, on a bad 'phone line.

Poetry, see?

'If you can guess how many rabits I've got in this 'ere basket - you can 'ave the both of 'em, see.'

2006-01-30T21:35:00.000Z

I just found this picture of me mixing monitors at a festival in Thurrock. I think this chap is called 'Sluts Of Trust', he was quite good.
I am however at a loss as to why I appear to be naked.

A Selection Of Messages.

2006-01-27T17:17:00.000Z

Ever look at your mobiles in-box and think some messages are worth sharing?

I do!

(alistair) Is your life an endless round of foreign holidays and drinking?
(me) Yes and loose women.

(pete watts) The final bill from the taxi company was £210.91. Lindsey is going to see if the girls are going to put in. Will let you know.
(me) Bugger, it was only nearly worth it.

(alistair) Enjoy Spain, you fucker.

(o2) Welcome to Spain. We are going to charge you loads.

(alistair) Not going to the pub with you again. Am lightweight. Been sick as a dog all day.

(o2) Welcome to Spain. Thanks for returning, your helping our share price no end.

An Appeal

2006-01-22T14:34:00.000Z

This is an appeal to you all to check your CD collection.

I just found 'One Hot Minute' (TRHCP) on my shelf.
It had been neglected and I think may have been crying.

So, take a look at your shelf.
Pick up a CD you haven't listened to for ages.
Put it on, and don't skip any tracks.
Think about copying it your PC.

Next week I'll cover how to find another CD, or perhaps that bit of vinyl.

Happy days to you all.

I'm back...

2006-01-21T13:13:00.000Z

... For a day anyway.

I'm sure your all very interested to know how lovely Spain was for me.

Well I'm sorry to disappoint, but it was rather crap.

Two days of rain upon arrival. One day of which was the only day I had some time off.
Ended up sitting on my balcony looking at more rain than I've ever seen, and the interesting shade of red the sea went due to the rather unexpectedly large waves churning up what was left of the beach.
In seven days I managed to get about four hours sleep a night (Can we just run cue 24 thru 51 again?). With a beer quota of less than two bottles of San Miguel per day.
No Guinness.

I did however manage to finally start hating the Spanish. (Sorry chaps)
I'm sure their whole 'do it tomorrow' attitude is rather endearing if your on holiday there, but when you've got a show to do and it takes two days for them to get the power going, only then for the 'electrician' (in the loosest possible sense) to claim that there is no such thing as earth cable in Spain (not something I want to be without when your messing with 125amps of three phase mains), you start to get a little sick of it.
I'll sort it tomorrow.
Oh, and then the really funny bit was when the CEO of Telefonica (Spanish BT) gets up to do his presentation the power goes off.
Everyone looks at 'we at the back', I get up and look round the corner where the power is to find Pedro with a screwdriver in one hand and look of confusion cast upon the large mains unit on the wall. He managed that twice during the show, until we politely pointed out to the manager that our client (who had booked every single room in the 350 room hotel) would be upset if that we're to happen again, and now probably wasn't the best time to be toying with a faulty cooker in the kitchen.

Lord this is great therapy!

Other things the Spanish pissed me off with:

2 hour wait to get my first course in the restaurant, EVERYTIME!
Only eating fish - I don't.
Presuming that because I'm English I need chips and tomato ketchup with every meal.
Taking bloody ages to do everything.

Things the Spanish have got right:

GIRLS.

Apart from that it was great.

I'm going back tomorrow.

2006-01-12T23:32:00.000Z

Your Blogging Type is Pensive and Philosophical

You blog like no one else is reading...
You tend to use your blog to explore ideas - often in long winded prose.
Easy going and flexible, you tend to befriend other bloggers easily.
But if they disagree with once too much, you'll pull them from your blogroll!

What's Your Blogging Personality?

I'm Off

2006-01-11T17:36:00.000Z

Yes, that's right. I'm off to Spain on Friday.
Work, not pleasure, I can assure you.

Oh, and than the phone rings Monday: 'Can you work 22nd to 26th?'
I'll be in another bit of Spain for a few more days then...

Yes, you're right, I'm just rubbing your collective nasal passageways right in the smell of my smugness. (I am however listening o ACDC, so it's your problem).

Marbella has a top temp of 18 today...

The Other Thing I'm Not Giving Up

2006-01-06T00:38:00.000Z

Being Single.

Damn, I'm rather good at that so no need to stop.

Happy New ETC.

2006-01-05T12:43:00.000Z

Well I hope you all had fun.
I managed to do the only sensible thing and bugger off to Cork drinking Guniness and keeping out of the way. Highly recommended and cheap, plus it was the first holiday I've had in 3 years.
Yes, I can assure you there is nothing quite as refreshing as stomping about on some cliffs and trying to understand a foreign language.

Anyway resolutions anyone?
Well, I suppose I should give up smoking, however, anytime I get those kind of urges I can always turn to Oscar Wilde:

LADY BRACKNELL: Do you smoke?
JACK: Well, yes, I must admit I smoke.
LADY BRACKNELL: I am glad to hear it. A man should always have an occupation of some kind. There are far too many idle men in London as it is.

So there, I'd just be idle without it...

Other things I'm not giving up (that I probably should):

Tea
Driving Fast
Eating Cheese
Credit (and Credit Cards)
Wearing Hats

Nothing Else Will Matter Now

2005-12-22T19:11:00.000Z

How does it happen?

Metalica cover?

Pop song?

Ballad!

Believe people.

http://www.luciesilvas.co.uk/

At least Pat Boone sent-up Enter Sand Man

...I'm Always The Last To See...

2005-12-22T19:06:00.000Z

But the SUN have done it again.

Elton takes David up the aisle.

Pun-tastic genius.

And Today...

2005-12-22T16:18:00.000Z

I started wearing an Afro. Keeps the head warm. Makes people smile.
I may go back to the pirate hat tomorrow as it is easier to drive in.
Or maybe I'll go for the Cowboy look...

The Day Today

2005-12-21T15:54:00.000Z

1. Work Christmas party was fun last night.
2. Have spent today wearing pirate hat - I am the Christmas Pirate - may continue to do so for some time as it seems to make the world a more amusing place. (Those of you who know me will remember the entire month I spent wearing fake arrow-through-the-head accessory.)
3. Note in McDonald's today read:
'Due to accident at oil depot we have some supply shortages, some items of the menu may be unavailable.'
I didn't know the menu was made of oil - it does answer a few questions I've always had about the food. (I was only there because of hangover relating to point 1 above. Junk food cures hangovers. Fact.)

I found it funny

2005-12-18T23:14:00.000Z

Not much to say on this one, it is what it is.

http://bofh.ntk.net/Bastard_1997-1.html

2005-12-18T22:58:00.000Z

mmm

Houses and Ponds

2005-12-18T22:08:00.000Z

This is leading on from a discussion with Al earlier (I say discussion, it was actually buy txt m8, sad it is to see the art of conversation taken down to message that has to 168 characters...).
It ended with the phrase 'I hope their spleens explode out of disgust for their minds'
Why are Cllrs so short sited? (Uh Oh, this is definitely going to cost me.)
Is there some kind of test before you can become a council member to ensure that any decision you make can only effect the here and now, without any forward planning? OK, not all their decisions are bad, but it seems to me that the big decisions are.
We have a phrase in Audio - don't mix by committee. One guy decides how it's going to sound, that's it.
Fair enough, in a democracy we've got to have several points of view and voices, but unfortunately it would seem that a great idea goes into a committee, and ends up being washed down and ruined.
Or they are bad ideas to start with and they just get worse.
'Lets build some more houses'
'Where?'
'What about that bit of land down there next to the river?'
'But didn't that flood a few years ago?'
'Yeah, but I'm sure it won't again'
Here ensues sale of said land to developer. Developer decides it is flood plain.
'It's OK, we can put a load of pumps in to lower the water table'
'Great'
Now another bit of the town floods instead.

Why am I doing this...

2005-12-18T22:04:00.000Z

Because Alistair does?
Not good enough me thinks...
Maybe it's the autobiography that we all dream will be written of us when we're gone?
Perhaps it's the ego screaming to let everyone know how terribly interesting my life really is, really?
Therapy?
Well lets see how it turns out shall we?